Lets talk about sex baby

image via lefashionimage.blogspot.com

Its been a long time coming, what did you expect? Sure, I have mentioned a lot of time's that this blog isnt just about HIV/AIDS and sexual health, but I'd be lying if I said those things will never come up, after all its part of MY philosophy on living a positive life. That being said, today I'd like to talk about sex, you know the thing you do (hopefully) if you are of mental and physical age. I can imagine you now, raising an eyebrow as you read this and I know why, I would probably do the same, but hear me out first. To start off, I, like so many of you was raised in a rather conservative home where discussions of sex and HIV were not permitted let alone discussed. It wasn't until later on in my life however when I was adopted (I was 13 at the time) that things changed.

For starters, my new mom Deseree (she is the coolest) was not like the traditional mom. Nothing was off limits including the dreaded and sometimes awkward sex talk. For her, sex and sexuality were part of life (and right she was/is). I mean later on in life she has explained to me that sure, she could have shied away from the topic like so many parents do, but she knew that I was going to find out about it one way or anther, and she wanted to make sure I had all the facts, not just all the stuff we are shown on TV or magazine's.

Remember the late night TV porn Emmanuel? Of course you do. If you lived in South Africa and had a TV in the early 2000's you probably stumbled upon it one late night and sneaked a peak, I know I did (sorry mom). For me the facination wasnt so much the sex part but just how perfect they all were. I mean Emmanuel (the main character) was gorgeous, model like if you will (if my young mind serves me correctly) and she always made the best sex sounds (don't judge people).

Anyways the point is, since my mom Deseree made it a point to talk to me about everything, including sex, I wasn't so fascinated with doing it as some of my friends were. As she explained one afternoon when I was about 17/18 or so, sex was normal and nothing to be ashamed of. I just needed to be safe when doing it. And right she was. Sex then became this thing that I could do, if and when the urge arose and it stopped being some big mystery.

I remember at the time sitting across from my mother willing her to stop, but now that I am older, I can say I appreciate those conversations she had with me and the fact that she was so open. It was a great starting point for me to discover my sexuality and in turn create a sexual language of my own. Now that I am 25 (26 in just over a week eeeeek), I am thinking how much I want to follow my mother Deseree's footsteps when I finally have kids. I mean sure, I can block their iphone's and ipads and lord knows what else to filter what they see but someday they will experience what I and many others did without our parents, some badly filmed, none realistic depiction of sex and someone (hopefully me) would have to step in and tell them the truth. That in between the ooohs and aaahs and lots of fun that should surely be had, in between all that must come a level of responsibility, of having all the facts presented to you and knowing that sex like most things can be fun, but as with all fun things, attention must be paid, to do it in a safe manner.

In the words of Woody Allen, “Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.”